Staff Writer

 It has been nearly 11 years since terrorists killed 17 fellow sailors, but Joe Hilbert lives with the event every day.

Since the USS Cole was the target of a suicide bombing carried out by Al-Qaeda in Yemen, Hilbert has struggled to deal with the post-traumatic stress disorder that causes nightmares, anxiety, depression, flashbacks and anger.

Hilbert, a 32-year-old Navy veteran, lives at the Arthur B. Huot Veteran Housing program in Saco run by Volunteers of America. There, Hilbert and nine other veterans receive support they need to undergo treatment and live independent lives.

The facility opened six months ago and is now fully occupied by men and women of all ages, including an 87-year-old World War II veteran. Betty Fortuin, director of veterans services for Volunteers of America, said the residential program is the first of its kind in the area to offer efficiency apartments along with case management services.

Hilbert, a Virginia native who followed his father into military service, said he turned to the Huot House after he moved to Maine. Unemployed, separated from his wife and dealing with PTSD, Hilbert said he had nowhere else to go.

Hilbert decided to join the Navy after graduating from high school in Norfolk, Va.

“I wanted to serve my country. I wanted to establish a sense of stability for myself, he said.

On Oct. 12, 2000, Hilbert, a gas turbines mechanic second class, was headed to lunch when two Al-Qaeda terrorists hit the USS Cole with a small boat loaded with explosives.

“I saw the line was too long, so I went down to my berthing to change and that’s when the boat hit the ship,” Hilbert said. “It tore a 40 by 40-foot hole in the interior of the main engine room. I went up to see what happened because I thought it was a fuel explosion.”

After he realized what happened, Hilbert opened a hatch and looked down at the passageway he had just come through. All he could see was water.

Hilbert said he and a chief immediately began looking for people to make sure they were safe while assessing the damage. After using thermal imagers to look for trapped sailors and fire, he was relieved of his position to go topside.

There, Hilbert said, he realized for the first time the extent of the damage caused by the explosion.

“I realized there was more carnage topside than I thought,” he said.

For the next 14 days, sailors worked to recover the bodies of 17 sailors killed during the attack. A total of 39 sailors were injured.

“In the days we were there, it was kind of like I was in a daze. It was like what in the world just happened?” Hilbert said. “Everything I had been trained to do came to me on autopilot, like boom, click, go.”

Hilbert said he carried those experiences when he left the U.S.S. Cole to serve on the U.S.S. Thorn to help with damage control preparedness. Hilbert left the Navy after four years of service because of his PTSD.

“It was one of those events you never recover from and you never forget,” he said.

After earning a college degree in computer science, he moved to Maine four years ago with his wife and son, Philip Cole, who is now 5. When his marriage fell apart and he was on the verge of becoming homeless, Hilbert turned to the Veterans Administration for help. He was one of the first residents to move into Huot House.

Hilbert said the program has provided him a stable place to live while he focuses on learning new tools to deal with PTSD. The family-friendly house also allows him to have weekly visits with his son, which he said “keeps my sanity.”

“The PTSD won’t go away. As I’m dealing with my PTSD, some days are better than others. There’s no cure,” he said. “There’s treatment and they’ve managed to help me find a way to deal with PTSD and try to better myself.”

Hilbert said being surrounded by veterans has helped him as well.

“Living with PTSD, when you’re solitary it’s difficult because you’re left with too much time to think and remember and focus on the negative things that happened or what else you could have done,” he said. “Just having someone around other than yourself to talk to helps me keep from reliving the experience.”

Fortuin said the program has been well-received in its first sixth months. There has been some turnover in participants, but everyone who left the program has moved on to being self-sufficient or needed a different level of care, she said.

Fortuin said there are more than 400 homeless veterans across the state who could benefit from similar programs. Another apartment building could easily be filled, she said.

“We feel it’s been very positive. We find this is badly needed,” she said. “It’s really a much need resource in the state.”

Fortuin said she and others involved with the program are touched by the “overwhelming outpouring of support” from the community. Donations have ranged from clothing to cooking utensils to a pool table.

“It’s been really reassuring to see the community step up and provide so much support,” she said.

Staff Writer Gillian Graham can be reached at 282-4337, ext. 213.