Staff Writer

 When Jenna Killinger first heard a description of her Big Sister, she was a little skeptical.

“(The woman from Big Brothers Big Sisters) said ‘I know you might not like it, but she’s a girly girl,’” Killinger said. “The first thought that popped into my head was I might not like her.”

Four years later, Killinger and her Big Sister, Cynthia Chadwick-Granger, spend nearly every weekend together and laugh easily as they talk about their first meetings.

And, Killinger said, they definitely like each other.

Killinger, 18, said she is “definitely not a girly girl,” but decided to wear a dress to her interview with Chadwick-Granger. The interview went well and the pair made plans to meet again.

“I go to pick her up and she comes out in Army fatigues,” Chadwick-Granger said. “She was going to be who she was going to be.”

It was the beginning of a relationship that would help Killinger overcome shyness and anger to graduate from high school and become the first person in her family to attend college. The Biddeford teen leaves later this month to begin her first year at the University of Maine in Farmington, a goal she said she accomplished with support from Chadwick-Granger, Jobs for Maine’s Graduates and Upward Bound.

When Killinger was 14 and angry at the world, Chadwick-Granger was looking for a young teen without a mother figure to mentor. She had been involved in Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southern Maine before, but fell away from it when life got busy. Though she was still busy, Chadwick-Granger said she longed to make a difference in someone’s life.

“That’s the most critical age and I wanted to able to help someone,” said Chadwick-Granger, who lives in Saco with her husband and stepson.

Killinger, who lives on Bacon Street with her father and older brother, said her father wanted her to find a woman to look up to. At the time, she hung around with guys and became “one of the dudes,” she said. The last person she thought she’d come to admire was a girly girl who wears dresses and prides herself on community involvement.

Back then, Killinger said, she didn’t care much for school, though she loved to learn and draw. She was taken away from her mother at age 6 and spent more than three years in foster homes and a group home. At one point she and her brother were separated before her father was granted custody of them in 2003. It was the first time they lived together since Killinger was 3 months old.

“She’d already been let down so many times. I didn’t want to do that to her again,” Chadwick-Granger said. “I wasn’t going to let her down. I was in it for the long haul.”

“She looked me dead in the eye and said ‘you’re never going to get rid of me,’” Killinger added.

Chadwick-Granger said Killinger was very quiet, very angry and often had panic attacks when they first met. She called her Little Sister frequently to check in about school and life in general. When Killinger’s father was unavailable to go to a parent-teacher meeting at school, Chadwick-Granger went in his place.

There, they saw flyers for Jobs for Maine’s Graduates and Chadwick-Granger encouraged Killinger to enroll. When Chadwick-Granger later saw that Killinger was not serving as an officer, she suggested the teen take the initiative to become a student leader.

“I want her to be successful in life. I made her accountable,” Chadwick-Granger said.

Killinger took a more active interest in her schoolwork instead of paying attention only occasionally.

“I was like ‘if she’s not going to stop bugging me about my schoolwork, I’d better step up on that,’” Killinger said.

Chadwick-Granger also helped Killinger line up a job at Heart’s Desire in Saco, where she worked in exchange for clothes. Together, they volunteered with the local garden club and Saco Spirit. Killinger said she had always wanted to volunteer, but was too shy until Chadwick-Granger was by her side.

Over time, Killinger came to consider Chadwick-Granger’s family her own. They celebrate holidays together and Chadwick-Granger’s family threw Killinger an 18^th birthday party last week and stocked her up with supplies for college.

Chadwick-Granger said she has seen a remarkable change in Killinger, who has “come out of her shell” and is excited about the future. For her part, Killinger said she is more confident in herself and aspires to change someone else’s life by someday becoming a Big Sister.

Spending time with Killinger was a good reminder that you can always make time to help, Chadwick-Granger said. 

“It takes one person in this world to make a difference,” she said. “It makes me sad to think about Jenna’s (early) life. I’m very happy I came into her life. I think it happened for a reason. All she needed was a little hope and my goal was to give her a little hope.”

When Chadwick-Granger realized their time in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program was over because Killinger turned 18, she knew it wasn’t the end of their relationship.

“This is for life,” she said.  Killinger agrees.

“Cynthia, even though she’s my Big Sister, she’s like a mother to me. She’s the mother I always wanted,” she said. “I came from nothing and now I’m part of something.”

Staff Writer Gillian Graham can be reached at 282-4337, ext. 213.